Again?

For the first time in two and a half years, I am officially in a relationship. WTF? You may ask, what about Katie's dad? Weren't you together 18 months ago? Not really, guys. We never connected emotionally, and we both knew it would end with his move to the West Coast.

I'm feeling a little scared right now--what have I done wrong in the past? Will I repeat those mistakes? I hope not. I'd like to think that motherhood has changed me. I'm still very outspoken, even a tad tactless sometimes, but being responsible for this little fireball has changed my perspective on what is truly important. Unfortunately, I've also become more suspicious and less sure of myself. Hard to believe, right? I make no apologies for most of what I do (I mean, who's perfect?), and yet, I still have lots to work on.

Work is still great. And Katie continues to surprise and delight me. How lucky am I? Things are going so well that I'm concerned something bad is bound to happen soon. Let's hope for the best!

A good week

Well, this week has been an excellent one, although I'd have to say it took an unexpected twist. More on that later. Katie Bel has all of a sudden become very interested in her toys--and she loves figuring things out now. She's also standing on her own. In fact, every time she does it, she claps for herself. They must do that at daycare. It's so cute. I still miss my baby Katie during the workday. Going at lunch, however, has proven to be bad for both of us. She cries when I leave, and so do I. No more.

On a different note, one of my co-workers in my division took me out on a date today! I was quite surprised to receive the invitation in the first place and also very flattered. We had a great time. Of course, I'm a bit cautious; it's hard not to be when things have gone so poorly in the past. But I'm staying optimistic. This fellow is interesting and has tricks up his sleeves that amuse me. We'll see how it goes!

Here we go again

Well, as quickly as it started, it ended. No longer seeing that someone anymore---it's not a huge deal, not like I had invested a huge amount of energy in it, but the reason it's over is the same as usual. The shy ones are intimidated by my outgoing personality, while the ones who share many of my characteristics feel I'm in competition with them. I feel like I can't win, no pun intended. I love that movie Something's Gotta Give with Jack and Diane. The best scene is when Frances McDormand lectures Jack on how interesting women, unable to find a partner, end up pursuing hobbies that make them even more interesting, and therefore less attractive to men. Not every relationship/experience has reinforced that theory, but most have. So maybe I should become a playwright? Haha, not likely.

Katie's fever has come and gone again and again, so we're going to the doctor this afternoon. I am ready for drugs. Really. She is so miserable and so am I. So I'm having cookies for lunch.

Where is that damn rule book?

Ok, I feel like an idiot. I spent almost 2 hours trying to get Katie to go to bed and stay there until I realized she might be hungry. She's only been nibbling and sipping all day--I guess because she's not feeling well. So she sucked down a few ounces and literally fell out within a few seconds. Dead asleep in my arms. Poor thing. You'd think after a year I'd know what my child needs. D'oh!

Home Sick

Today Katie is sick. We had to stay home from work/daycare because of it. Guess that's pretty good since Katie started daycare 3 months ago. I'm a little upset since it means I now won't have any vacation after Christmas. Sure, it's only one day, but it sucks that Katie will have to go to daycare that day unless my family helps out.

But anyway, the news is that Katie turned 1 on Sunday! I can't believe I have a toddler on my hands. She is standing on her own a little bit and will probably be walking before you know it. We had nice visit with her father's family in Augusta. Thankfully, they're coming to visit in December-that drive is a bear to do by yourself at night, especially with all the construction on I-85. Rain followed me the entire way to Atlanta last Friday.

And I'm seeing someone. It's really nice to have somebody who likes talking to you, wants to spend time with you, and even takes you out for a good meal every now and then!

Oh, crying baby. Gotta go.